England’s Omnishambles Complete

Under the floodlights in Adelaide today, England confirmed what we all knew already. They’re pretty god damn awful at ODI cricket.

By all accounts they were as woeful today as they have been throughout the tournament, and throughout the last 2 years. Hopefully, this will be the wake up call that English cricket needs to change its ways. But then we said that after an Ashes Whitewash, a failed 2011 World Cup campaign, and just a few weeks before this very World Cup.

Peter Moores beautifully summed up everything that is wrong with English cricket, in particular their archaic approach to ODI’s, in this statement.

Speaking after the match, the England coach offered this honest reflection: ‘We thought 275 was chaseable. We’ll have to look at the data’.

We’ll have to look at that data? We’ll have to look at the data?!?!

You don’t need to look at a print out from some superfluous computer analysis to determine that England were bloody awful. That quote sounds like it was dreamed up by some sort of cricket satirist. Perhaps the work of Andy Zaltzman, but no they were uttered by the man responsible for this omnishambles of a campaign.

Thankfully, while England’s campaign was being dragged through it’s almost final stages (who knows what will happened against Afghanistan?!), I wasn’t anywhere near a TV screen. I didn’t even find out the result until a few hours after the finish.

Luckily I chose this week to go on holiday. I didn’t realise that the World Cup was on, and would genuinely have looked at other dates if I realised that it clashed with two of England’s pivotal pool matches. But I didn’t realise, and escaped watching England embarrass themselves on the world stage once again.

I shan’t be watching England’s final group game, and to be honest, I’d rather see Afghanistan win anyway. They deserve it more and it would just make Peter Moores’ position more untenable. It’s win win.

So good luck Peter, but while you’re formulating a plan and working out what the data says about your job prospects, I’ll be sunning myself in Milan. I know which I’d prefer.

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